If i'm unhappy. it's because life is not as i want it to be. Life is not matching my expectations of how it "ought" to be and so i'm unhappy.

So i say, "i'll be happy when... ..." Well, life is NOT perfect. Life is about being exhilarated, frustrated, sometimes achieving and sometimes missing out. So long as i say "i'll be happy when... ..." i'm deluding myself.

Happiness is a decision. I live life as if someday i'll arrive at "happiness" like one arrives at a bus stop. I have figure that someday everything will fall into place, i will take a deep breathe and say "Here i am at last ... Happy!" Hence my life story is one of  "i'll be happy when ... ..."

Each of us has a decision to make. Are we prepared to daily remind ourselves that we have only limited time to make the most of what we've got, or will we while away the present, hoping for a better future?

I have somehow realised that, in order to be happier, in order to get more out of life, i didn't have to go and change the world. The world is already beautiful. I had to change myself. 

The world is not "perfect". The degree of our happiness is the distance between the way things are and the way they "ought" to be. If we cease to demand that things be perfect, the business of being happy becomes easier. We then choose to have preferences for the way things might be, and decide that if our preferences are not met, we will be happy anyway.

Conclusion:

I will give you the secret... If y0u want t0 be happy, BE HAPPY! 

Waiting for things?

Have you noticed that when you are just sitting waiting for a taxi, it never seems to arrive? The same seems to be true for other things that we wait for. Hence the old saying, "A watched pot never boils". Similarly, i have found myself waiting too long for too many things recently. After waiting for so long, i've decided to busy myself with other things else, and bingo! the call or smses from him made me stop doing whatever i'm doing, and made me kept thinking and worrying about him whenever i can't get to see him.

Whenever i sit and wait for letters, people, the right job, the perfect partner, some wonderful adventure, the perfect partner, Christmas, or anything else we want, it takes a long time arriving. Sometimes it never comes. 

For HIM: Well, at first you have made me to believed in you that you're the one. We've spent wonderful times together, taking loads of pictures, talking about our daily lives on what we encounter and some rubbish as well, touring around in the island, catching the animal encounter shows, eating together in Koufu after our class and before our work, goes back home together, watching movies. (These are all the good memories.) There are also bad ones which i don't want to mentioned... but have decided to tell you the truth that you're the first who... ... (Well, im sure it's clear enough for you to know.) Kind of a little disappointed in you for what you've choosen and what you've did all this while. I think now that my mind is clear (But still not to the extend that i don't really think of you, and i do not know why),  i've recalled what you kept asking which is: "Why do i let you ... ...?, Don't i hate you that you don't feel the same way towards me?, Why do i even like you?. In Fact, i have all the answers that you really wanted. But since you're happily being with her now, i think there isn't a need for you to know anyway. Because i'll be soon forgotten. How i really wished i could have the chance to be with you at first, but now it's like we will only get to see each other when we have the chance to see one another. There's just so much things to say... till i can't utter a word at times, which you seems i'm tired and don't feel like talking. (Which isn't true.) 

Okay... Back to the topic! =D

There is a principle which kept me going which is telling me, "Get on and live my life in the present moment and don't hold your breathe for things to happen."  If i say to myself, "I must have "A" in order that i can be happy and fulfilled," then circumstances may very well arrange myself to prove otherwise.

Conclusion:

Jump into life at every opportunity. Live in the now. While you are waiting for one thing to happen, do something else. In doing so, you demonstrate a certain detachment from the end result.

"LETTING GO" OF THE SITUATION ACCELERATES RESULTS" 

 All i have is now. The measure of my peace of mind and the measure of my personal effectiveness are determined by how much i'm able to live in the present moment. Regardless of what happened yesterday and what might happen tomorrow. NOW is where i am. From this point of view, the key to happiness and contentment must be in focusing my mind on the present moment! =D

One of the most beautiful thing about when i'm young kid is that i absorb myself totally in the present moment. (Well, I think not only me. But all of u do!) I manage to stay totally involved in whatever i do, whether it be watching ants, drawing a picture, building sand castle or whatever else i choose to devote my energies to.

As i become an adult, i learn the art of thinking about and worrying about several things at once. I can allow past problems and future concerns to crowd into my present such that i become miserable and ineffective. 

I also learnt to postpone my pleasures and my happiness, often developing a notion that sometime in future everything will be much better than it is now.

During high school, ive been thinking: "When im out of this school and don't have to do what i am told, then everything will be great!" I left school and suddenly recognises that i won't be happy until i left home. And even before i left home and starts my University, i've already thought that i'll be really happy!" Eventually, before i even get my degree, i've realised that i still can't be happy until i have got a job which im satisfied and feels happy everyday.

As the years roll by, i postpone my happiness and peace of mind until i've decided to be with HIM or perhaps someone else, get engaged, get married, start buying a house, get a better job ( If im not satisfied with the current one ), start a family, get the kids in school, owns OUR home, get the kids out of school, retires... and drop dead before i allow myself to be blissfully happy. All my present moments were spent planning for a wonderful future which never arrived.

Do all of you think of what i thought too? Are all of you putting off being happy until some time in the future? The thing about being happy is that i am mostly involved with the present. The right way is to decide to be happy on the journey, not just when we reach our destination.

Similarly, we can postpone spending time with people who means the most to us. (**Hope i don't get wack by u guys =X**)

None of us has a guarantee that we will be here tomorrow. Now is all we got. 

Living in the now also means that we are enjoying whatever we are doing for its own sake, and not just for the end result.

Living in the now is about expanding our awareness to make the current moment more delicious rather than shutting off. Each of us has a choice, moment by moment, as to whether we really live and absorb and allow ourselves to be touched and affected.

Whenever we are living in the present moment, we drive fear from our mind. Essentially, fear is concern over events which might really happen sometime in the future. This concern can be paralysing to the point where i find it almost impossible to do anything constructive. 

However, most of us are only open to intense fear when we are being inactive. The minute we start to take action and actually DO SOMETHING, fear subsides. Living in the now is about taking action without fear of the consequences. It is about putting in effort for the sake of the involvement, without worry as to whether we will get our just rewards. 

It is worthwhile remembering that we cannot replace a something with a nothing. If you worries on your mind, it is no easy matter to just empty out your mind and find peace. The easiest way to improve your mental state is to take action, get involved, participate. DO SOMETHING! ANYTHING. 

Ring an old friend or make a new one, go to the gym, go dancing, take a stroll at the beach/park or helping someone to do something.

Conclusion:

Time doesn't really exist, except as an abstract concept in your head. The present moment is the only time we have. Make something of this moment! Our tendency can be to put ourselves through hell in our mind, contemplating what could come to pass, yet if we look at the present moment, which is all we have, there is no great problem at all! 

So everyone LIVE IN THE "NOW"! =D

Hey there... i have  something great to share for what i've learnt today and it will inspires each and everyone of you for now and future. Hope it helps! Enjoy reading it. =D

We are very susceptible to the influence of the people around us. You may have known somebody who has gone overseas for a year or so, and has returned with an accent? Have you known any charming little five-year olds who toddled off to school innocent and naive, and in no time at all, they learned more swear words than your average trooper?

We become a part of our immediate environment. None of us are immune to the influences of our own world - our family, friends, colleagues, the TV, the newspaper, the radio, the books and magazines we read. Let us not kid ourselves that are touched by things and the people in life. Our thoughts and our feelings, our goals and our action are constantly shaped by those and what we live with.

The fascinating thing about being human is that generally we are unaware that there are changes taking place in our psyche. It is like returning to the city smog after some weeks in the fresh air. Only then do we realise that we have become accustomed to the nasty smells.

Mix with critical people and we learn to criticise. Mix with messy people and our lives become messy. (True?!) Mix with enthusiastic people and we become enthusiastic. Adventurous people inspires us to be prosperous. What this means is that we need to decide what we want from life and then choose our company accordingly. You may well say, "Thats is going to take some effort. It may not be comfortable. I may offend some of my present company." Right! But it's your LIFE! 

It is no surprise that doctors as a profession suffer a lot of ill health because they spend their lives around with sick people. Psychiatrist have a high incidence of suicide in their profession for related reasons. Traditionally, nine out of ten children whose parents smoke, smoke themselves. Obesity is in part an environmental problem. Poor people have poor friends. Rich people have rich friends. Successful people have successful friends. And so the story goes on and on... 

Conclusion of the day: 

If you are serious about changing your life, get serious about changing what surrounds you.

Thank god, i have a wide circle of friends whose from poor to rich and successful friends helping me and be at my side at all times. I will treasure all moments with you guys till the day i die. Love u all. Loads of hugs and kisses. =D